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Those words she said still echo through my thoughts. Empty. As I lay on top of her, looking on her hollow, dark eyes, I knew it to be true. She was empty.

Why did we do it . . . again? And as I lay there, on top of her, I thought to her: "so am i"

We lost control again. There is no excuse for it. No reason but lust. And it seems that we can't stop. I actually believed that we were enjoying it. But now. . . now we are just empty. And when I heard those words from her lips, I was terrified. Those words took reality and hung it on a meat-hook for us to see. for us to stare at for hours. Because that is all we were, just hunks of meat. Flesh without souls. Just bodies

It seemed I could not help but let it happen. Again and again. I lost more rational and sense of purpose each time. And justified it with more intricate lies when the old justifications went sour.

I don't know the statistics. I don't know others' stories, I can only tell my own. I'm sure that some will relate to these feelings. And I'm sure some are feeling this right now. No, I don't have all of the answers, this is an addiction I am still trying to cope with myself. But I do know one thing, it does help to talk about it . As far as cure-alls, I'm not too sure of that. All I know is that something such as a sexual addiction cannot just be forgotten, it has to be replaced with something stronger. Something real. An exact opposite? Sex is so material, we might think we need something equally anti-material. Even beyond the realm of materialism and anti-materialism. Something that transcends the boundaries established by materialism and anti-materialism. That is real.